her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
