Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
the day after is always just damage control
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
