i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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