I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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