planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
