the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
