She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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