Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Everyone says I win the strip club
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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