I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
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I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
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Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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