ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
