Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
