I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
