then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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