I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
