I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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