hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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