She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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