I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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