last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
