You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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