hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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