AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
