ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
