I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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