im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
