Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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