I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
