Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
3 2 1 whiskey
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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