I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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