is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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