just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
