If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize