We named our party play list daddy issues
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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