This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
