WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize