I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize
