Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
