I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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