I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
