Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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