I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
