im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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