I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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