so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
