one word: firstdatebathroomanal
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
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