i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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