It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
