I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize