I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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