Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
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