Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
