That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
