so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
