so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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