I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize