Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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