Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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