true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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