It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
