At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my sisters under your porch take her home
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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